Downtown Dani

Wow – the day is here…the big 3-0. This day seemed so far off for a long time and then it quickly approached. It’s funny to think what I thought my life would look like at 30, even just back in my early 20s. I thought I would be married with at least one kid, maybe a second or a second on the way. Although my life doesn’t quite look like that, I couldn’t be happier with where I am at right now – I have an amazing husband who is truly my soulmate, the sweetest fur baby, incredible family and friends, I have a great job and I get to hang out with you all in my little corner of the internet. As I reflect on my first 3 decades of life and all the obstacles I’ve overcome, opportunities I’ve had and just what I’ve experienced, I thought I would share 30 things I learned in my 30 years of life…so here we go!

1. You are never “too good” for any job. I remember someone giving this advice to me early on in my career and I agree. Don’t stick your nose up at opportunity, even if you think you are more qualified or above it. You never know what you might learn or who you could meet. Also, you can learn so much more about the business by being in the trenches and you never know who you may impress with your willingness to get your hands a little dirty.
2. Jump in! It is my personality to be a little reserved when I am first getting to know people or start something and hang back. I used to be afraid of what people would think or how they would judge me (seriously I would over analyze that way too much), but then I got to know people and wished I would have put my whole self in sooner. Sometimes it can seem scary to throw yourself in, but the payoff is great!
3. Don’t Settle. In work, in a partner, or just in life.
4. Hold true to your values. This one was hard for me for a long time. I had a certain set of values that I wasn’t going to change for anyone. A lot of guys stopped or wouldn’t date me at all because of my values. When I was in high school I got left out of parties or sleepovers because of my values. I was so hurt every time, but looking back I am so glad because I would have been so upset if I had been pressured to change my values for someone else and I caved. It was hard and frustrating through those times, but I am so much happier now because of them.
5. Find someone who will be your true partner in life. I’m not saying run out and find a guy to marry – but when you are dating, really look for someone who will be your partner through everything. Someone who values you, respects you, wants your opinion, and wants to be a team. Having that kind of foundation is so strong and will help you overcome a lot of hurdles that come your way.
6. It’s never too late to say sorry or forgive. This can be hard for stubborn people like me, but forgiving is what I was taught as a Christian to do. If you’ve held a grudge for a long time or have been in a disagreement for years, it can be hard to be humble and apologize. In turn, it can also be hard to accept the apology and forgive. No matter how long it’s been, it’s never too late.
7. Don’t let the small stuff get you down. I used to (and still do) get so upset and worked up over the tiniest things. So much of which you can’t control. It’s so much better on your health and your mindset when you just can let those things go!
8. Find good best friends. The ones that will lift you up. The ones that make you want to do better. The ones who will be completely honest with you. The ones who maybe aren’t exactly like you. I think as you get older, your circle gets smaller, but it’s because you’re surrounding yourself with the best. So I think it’s great to have multiple best friends, and usually because they are each bringing something different to your life.
9. Build Your Brand. Each of us has our own personal brand. It’s essentially our reputation. But it’s really how others perceive us when they hear our name, sometimes before they have even met us. Focus on what you want your personal brand to be – and work towards it. Network to expand your brand. Ask for feedback. This is true not only in work life, but in your personal life too.
10. It’s OK to be vulnerable. This one has been hard for me. I hate being vulnerable. It leaves you too open, too easy to get hurt. When I met Aaron, I was so hesitant to open my heart to him, but I am so thankful I did. Usually every time I’ve been open and vulnerable about something, it has had good payoffs. Whether it be opening my heart to love or to express how I am feeling. Chances are – most of the time – you’re not alone.
11. It’s never too late to learn or start something new. This could not be more true for me. For years I wanted to start a blog, but was too afraid. I hemmed and hawed over it for a long time. But finally halfway through my 28 year of life, I said lets do this. Am I surrounded by people years younger than me with more experience or time? Yes. Would I change it? No. I think everything happens for a reason, and for whatever reason, I needed to wait and get experience in other areas before I started my blog.
12. Following your passion is great – but sometimes you need to realign your passions. This one I have to be reminded of constantly. Having dreams and passions are great – but sometimes they just aren’t in the cards for you. I wanted to be an actress all of high school. I was serious about it too. I went on auditions with agents, casting directors, managers – and I could have missed my senior year of high school to move to LA, but my parents said no. So then I went to college in Southern California to be close to all of that and I went to study film. Then I realized I didn’t really want to study film (I wanted to be in it lol), and that marketing made more sense to me so I pursued that. Then I wanted to work in media. I got what people would say was a “dream job” at a radio station. The reality was – it was a ton of work and stress for very little pay. Was that really my dream? Now I still work in media, it just looks a little different and I’ve never been happier.
13. Don’t stay at a job you’re unhappy at. The reality is you can’t bounce around from job to job. But if it makes you physically unhappy to be there every day where it is effecting your personal life, or you don’t feel like you are being treated right (see above lol), then actively work to find a new career or opportunity.
14. Say YES to new opportunities – even if they scare you. 100% yes to this. Starting this blog – scared the crap out of me. Going to college and living 400 miles away from my family freaked me out. Every time I’ve started a new job or gotten a promotion, I’ve been nervous. The reality is – they are all amazing growth opportunities and I’ve learned so much with each one. Did I shed a few tears or have frustrations along the way? Sure. But they have all had positive outcomes.
15. Don’t be afraid to say no. This can be applied to so much. If you don’t drink – don’t be afraid to say no to a party. If you would rather stay at home with your hubby or family, say no to that event. If you’re saving money, it’s OK to say no to happy hours multiple nights of the week. If you’re waiting, don’t be afraid to tell a guy no to sex. These aren’t always easy nos, but it will make you stronger and ultimately happier.
16. Admit when you’re wrong. Know when you’re wrong and apologize. Even if you thought you were right. This is never easy and takes humility, but your relationships will be better because of it and people will respect you more.
17. Find a hobby that brings you joy. This can look different to everyone. For me – it’s my blog. Other people, it’s running or working out. Some it’s reading. Find something outside of work that fills up some time that brings you happiness.
18. It’s OK to do things alone. This one is weird for me, because I am usually one who likes to do things with someone, but some me time is never bad. Go to the movies by yourself. Stay in a hotel alone. Take yourself out to lunch.
19. Live a healthy lifestyle. I am not just talking about eating right and exercising – which are both important! But also find good habits that motivate you throughout your day. Get rid of toxic people. Spend time with God.
20. Do what brings YOU joy. Don’t let the world, media, friends, or family dictate how you lead your life – all within reason of course. If staying in and watching movies with your SO makes you happy – do it! If you want to wait to have kids, or never have them at all, that’s up to YOU! If you want to have 10 kids, props to you! If working out 7 days a week makes you feel good, good for you!
21. Make The most out of your college years. I don’t mean stay out until 4am every night – although those nights usually have good memories 😉 But take the opportunity to try new things, get internships in fields you might enjoy, meet new people, submerge yourself into your experience. I joined a sorority, worked different places, held leadership positions in the Greek system, had internships and I’m so glad I did all of that.
22. Move to a different city if you have the chance. I know we don’t all have this opportunity, but if you can at least go to college in a different city, I would recommend it. Learning a new area, being far enough away from your parents where you have to learn to take care of yourself, all help you grow so much!
23. Everything in moderation. Eat that cake! But maybe just have a slice. Enjoy some wine! But maybe not 3 bottles in one night. Enjoy nights out with your friends! But maybe a few times a month. Go shopping! But don’t max out your credit card. You get my drift?
24. Self Care Time is Important. This means more than face masks and pedicures. This is is listening to your body. Taking time to rest when you’ve over extending yourself. Saying no to another night out with friends so you can have some me time. And of course – pampering yourself too!
25. Don’t be so busy making plans that you forget to live in the present. This is a HUGE one for me. I am SUCH a planner, I am always planning our next vacation, what activities we are going to do next month, when we will have children. Sometimes things aren’t going to go the way you expect them to
26. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes things seem unfair or you don’t know why certain things happen. The reason may not make itself clear at the moment, but it usually reveals itself to you in the future. Sometimes the timing just ins’t right, sometimes it wouldn’t be what’s best for you and other times it’s because there is something better waiting. Just remember that God is in control and to trust in Him.
27. You are uniquely you. There is no one in the world that’s more you-er than you! Thank you Dr. Seuss. But seriously. Love every bit of yourself. You are made perfectly in God’s image. Rather than pick yourself apart, love yourself, build yourself up! You are amazing!
28. You can’t please everyone – and that’s OK. I used to kill myself trying to make everyone happy. The reality is – we are all different, so that’s just not possible. I had to learn that sometimes people will disagree with what I chose to do or share and that’s OK. As long as I am doing it from a good place with a good heart and I am staying true to myself, that is all I can do.
29. Live like no one else so you can life like no one else. Thank you Mr. Dave Ramsey for this quote. Really, this is about focusing on your finances. You may have to sacrifice some items to build up your savings or get out of debt – but the more you do earlier on, the better and more set up you will be later. He recommends you and your partner setting a budget as a team, stick to it, and use cash. Let me tell you – when you really follow his recommendations, it’s so helpful!
30. Life is Short. I know we have all heard this, but really our time on earth is just a pinch in time. Things can change in an instant. Don’t live your life with regret. Say an extra I love you. Try not to go to bed angry. Smile at a stranger. Say yes to things that scare you.